BBC Six Music Podcasts.
Six Music.
This is a free download from the BBC.
Find out more at bbc.co.uk slash six music.
And now, Adam and Joe.
Hello, this is Adam.
Hi, it's Garth here.
And Garth is filling in once again for Joe, who is in Los Angeles.
But during this show, you will be able to catch up with the man and hear what he's been up to.
Actually, you don't really hear much of what he's been up to.
But it's exciting to have him on the end of a telephone all the way from Los Angeles.
Listen, it's exciting to have anyone on the end of a telephone.
I still can't believe how they work.
But he assured me yesterday we were doing a little bit of transatlantic work down the line and when we were chatting in between takes, Geoff, Joe said, yeah, yeah, give us a call tomorrow.
I've got lots of stuff to talk about.
This time we phone him up and he's like, well, I haven't really got much in my locker.
maybe that's because it's secret stuff secret stuff maybe later when he's back on the show you'll find out what that secret stuff is secret stuff's no good to the six music listeners though it's like jonathan ross last night with uh what's his name simon peg on there and um matt lucas both of them unable to talk about various exciting projects that they were involved with that's all chat shows are now is famous people turning up and saying i can't really talk about that
I mean, it's not like in the olden days, is it?
You'd have Parky there and pretty, you know, people would more or less open up their souls to Parky.
They'd stop crying, admit to their faults and whatever it is they were doing at the time.
You'd find out all kinds of stuff.
Nowadays, oh no, I don't want to get sued by the production company.
It's true.
What kind of chat show hell is that?
Anyway, Joe did manage to dredge up a couple of tasty morsels for us, and you can hear those within this podcast.
Also, you will be able to hear my finally completed Crunch song, even though it didn't win Song Wars this week.
Well, to be fair, it wasn't the song that you're going to put on here.
It isn't the one you actually entered as your Song War winner.
No, it was a messy delivery, and actually I think the best song won.
Well, I don't know about that, because I think a lot of messages were coming through saying irritating beyond all measure, as far as my one goes.
But it's done now, the war is over, and we can just enjoy your new remixed version of your better track, I must say.
That'll be at the end of this podcast.
We also had some fun with pirate radio interruptions.
Some of those will be scattered throughout, you know, like when you're listening to analogue radio and you're driving around and suddenly your radio listening is interrupted by short bursts of frenzied pirate radio nonsense.
Well, we did a similar thing and we played them within a couple of tracks, one by Radiohead and one by Fleet Foxes, that you won't be able to hear in the podcast because of course they're not clearable, but it is a good reason for... It's my mum.
Hang on.
Hello, mummy.
I'm fine.
I'm just recording our podcast introduction at the moment.
Yeah, so now everyone knows that I call you mummy.
Did you hear that?
I hope we can keep that.
Did you enjoy the show this morning?
You don't like the music?
Okay.
Alright, then I'll speak to you later.
Yep.
Bye.
Lots of love.
My mum says hi Garth.
Oh, hi mum.
So yeah, we had some fun with the pirate interruptions and we wove a couple of our pirate interruptions into actual pieces of music, Garth.
put them in a Fleet Foxes track.
I put mine in Reckoner by Radiohead.
Of course, we can't play those in this podcast because they're not clearable, but you can hear them if you listen to the whole show again.
It's another incentive for choosing the listen again option, which is, after all, a far superior.
Three hours of fun and great music.
But surely we can pepper a few of those little interruptions into this podcast.
Yeah, we'll scatter them around instead of stings every now and again to break things up a little bit.
So enjoy.
This is Adam and Garth here on BBC 6 Music.
Garth is Garth Jennings, the acclaimed pop video and film director, also a close friend of the show and... I love you, man.
Easy.
He's here filling in for Joe, who is still indisposed.
But we have him on the telephone.
Hey, Joe.
Now look here, you two.
First things first, you can't call it Adam and Garth.
You've got to call it Adam and Joe featuring Garth.
While you're away, I'm just taking over.
And let me tell you, things are going to change around here.
Well, listen, Garth Jennings, there's a precedent, isn't there, with shows where, you know, maybe one of the people gets ill or maybe has to go away on spurious work-related travels?
Yeah.
Isn't there a way to describe that without actually ejecting that person's name from the title of the show?
Yes, but that's only if you go once.
You've been away for years.
I forfeited that right.
It's true.
It's like last week was fair enough.
This week, you know, we're doing new jingles.
We're dressing Garth in your clothes.
He's going to, later on, we're teaching him to say certain things.
He's moving in with your girlfriend this weekend.
I don't know if you realize that.
Who have you been hanging out with this week that you can tell us about, Joe?
Or who have you spotted?
How about that?
Oh, many famous people.
I actually had a very enjoyable dinner with amongst other people.
popular six music DJ Steven Merchant, who's also chosen not to turn up for his show.
Right, they're all just going out and having fun in LA.
Was that because of the Emmys?
I think he directed an episode of The American Office and was possibly out here for the Emmys that were last weekend.
One of the topics of conversations between Steven and me was post-radio show depression.
And we were both saying that sometimes after an exciting six music show, we come home and we feel strangely depressed.
Right.
And we've talked about this, Adam, haven't we?
No, I don't know what you're talking about.
And it's usually because you've said something that you regret.
Yeah, well, you know, that's the nature of radio, though, isn't it?
You have to fill space and your mouth tends to work a little faster than your brain sometimes.
We decided it was like being a rock star.
And this transition from going to speaking to lots of people and every word you say having importance to just going home
and no one caring about you or listening to you is just sometimes too much to bear.
So you sink into deep depression.
But listen, man, what have you been up to out there apart from worrying about things you've said on the radio?
Guess who was on the plane with me on the way over?
Not Russell Brand again.
Nick Cave.
Nick Cave!
Yeah, that's pretty good, isn't it?
Did you say hello to him?
I was queuing down the snake thing to board the plane.
Yeah.
And from behind me I heard, excuse me, excuse me, stand aside, please, excuse me.
And it was aeroplane assistants ushering Cave past the proles.
Was he in a wheelchair?
No, he was fine.
He clearly dyed his moustache and his hair.
To look old.
To look young.
Oh, I thought he was going for a kind of, help me, I need assistance.
Did he travel on that electric car that goes beep, beep, beep?
No, but he shoved past everybody.
And to be honest, I know Cave is a hero.
and a genius, but I thought he would want to be down with the people.
That must be too embarrassing.
I'd be too embarrassed to be ushered past on that bit of the plane.
He looked happy about it.
Of course, why wouldn't he be?
And then, sitting in his big chair, he had his laptop open and he appeared to be writing poetry.
That's exactly what he was doing.
And that's what you have to do.
Once you pass a certain age, he's over 50 now.
Pushing past the people.
That's what I would have written.
Then you have to be pampered in order to make your art come out.
That was very well put.
Then I saw him watching Fool's Gold three times and laughing his head off.
Well, there you go.
I've taken him to my heart then.
He's a genius.
That's The Last Shadow Puppets with My Mistakes Were Made For You.
Well done, The Last Shadow Puppets.
Congratulations, what a wonderful year they've had.
I'm turning into Jools Holland.
You've just got to say ladies and gentlemen a bit more.
Ladies and gentlemen, over here we have the last shadow puppets, wonderful band, absolutely staggering musicians.
I'm going to do a little awkward interview with one of them right now.
So what do you find Mr Alex Turner Letters is like playing music?
Okay, where do you get your ideas for songs?
That's not fair.
I mean Jules, he's a national treasure.
He's a national treasure.
He's a boogie-woogie genius and a national treasure and the comparer of one of the most legendary music shows of all time.
It's funny though, I went to a recording of one of those shows and it's a near-death experience for the audience because they have all these cameras swinging around on cranes.
Right.
And constantly they're going...
over your head and you could don't see it on the telly but everyone is ducking all the time it's like an air show watch out for the rock and roll cranes yeah look out uh that'd be good name for a band wouldn't it rock and roll cranes maybe not communication from the future beaming down from chat space relatively slow podcast plug in the computer prepare for download
Now Garth, I'm going to hand over to you to explain to the listeners what we're going to play them next.
Well, when you're listening to normal radio, analogue radio, we certainly in London, I get this thing when I'll be listening to some nice little song and Eva Castiel come on singing something like Over the Rainbow and then suddenly a pirate radio station will come and go
And it'll go straight back to Eva Cassidy, as if nothing happened.
You think, was that just me?
And of course, with the digital radio, you don't get any of the joys of pirate radio interruptions.
And Adam and I were talking about this this week, and we were saying it'd be nice to sort of give you the analog experience, you digital listeners.
So we've made some of our own pirate radio interruptions.
Actually, haven't you made some of your little examples?
Yeah, here's a couple.
I've woven a couple of these into a track that we'll play later on, but let's see.
Play the first one, James, the cake one.
What a nice bit of cake now.
That's the kind of thing that you get like, especially in South London, you wonder, you know, you're driving across the bandwidths and the airwaves and stuff, and you get all those shows suddenly chiming in.
I love it.
I really like how, and it's always, you always come in at some stupid bit.
Like you said, like a nice big okay.
And, um, but, uh, because what they do that their main, they're all unified a lot of these pirate stations by their bad mic technique, right?
Yeah, they speak into it really close.
I got really, really close.
And they're like leaning in.
And they drop and they drop the music right down.
So it'll be gone.
That sort of thing.
Have you ever listened to a pirate station like that for like any length of time?
Yeah, a few times when I was at art school.
Right.
But I was trying to get into something I couldn't get into.
Yeah.
I tried on those trousers, but they just didn't fit.
It's exhausting, isn't it?
The best way I would imagine, the best time to listen to a pirate station like that is when you're just driving around, I guess, right?
They're designed for
being played on incredibly overpowerful stereos and annoying people at traffic lights.
But they do talk over a lot.
I mean, we get emails saying we talk too much, but at least we don't talk over the records.
They talk over the entire record most of the time.
Yeah.
Hold tight, hold tight.
I did another one.
I was trying to imagine what, like, because you get different types of stereo.
It's not always dance music and stuff, right?
You were talking about... Well, Nick, who I work with, Nick Goldsmith, he was saying that he was driving through Golders Green and there was a Hasidic Jewish pirate radio station.
And what are they doing, just talking or playing music?
Playing some nice records and... And talking over the top of it?
Yeah, talking over the top of it, yeah.
I'll try and track that down.
I'll try and find them.
I did one for, like, a classical station that I thought would sound a little bit like this.
Chamber Pop 7.
Lucian de Montfort Quartet.
Proud Junior Fiddlers.
All in massive effect on the terrace.
It's time for Songs Wars The War of the Songs
Yep, and of course last week we unveiled our songs about the credit crunch.
I say songs.
I had one half-finished thing.
It sounded like it was from a musical or something.
But that was my favourite and a lot of people have written in about that one saying they loved it.
Right?
And then, well, that's nice.
And I actually finished it this week.
So if I win, I'll play the whole of that one.
Because in the end, I panicked last week.
I didn't, I knew there was no way I was going to finish the other one.
So I went and did a kind of radio head ripoff with the robot voice on it, you know, and Garth.
Yeah, but I made a shocker because mine wasn't even about the credit crunch as much.
I just kept singing stupid things that somehow loosely tied to it.
And it was annoyingly, it stuck in people's heads.
Well, let's announce the winner now.
I've got a bit of paper I don't actually know.
Oh, I've won.
You've won.
I've won by 68%.
Well, it was the better song, it has to be said.
There's a lot of people going to be upset about this.
Well, listen... I'd like to hear your one.
Maybe I'll play it later on in the show.
But right now, let's hear... You really want to play mine?
Yeah, we've got to.
You've won.
It's the way Song Wars works.
This is Garth's credit crunch song.
was a bank it would fold to be frank and this june was a man he would sleep
So we got a call here from Tiana, she says she's going out tonight and she's gonna be wearing some shoes.
Textination, text, text, text, textination.
What if I don't want to?
Textination.
But I'm using email, is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
We've got a lot of jingles on this show.
We're jingled up to the... I mean eventually the jingles will just spread all over the show.
It'll just be non-stop jingles and there won't be any actual talking or music.
We've got even more jingles in the next few hours as well.
Yeah, I've got a lot of jingles, you know.
I like jingles.
We are in the midst of Text the Nation.
We're asking for your ideas to make the world a better place.
I think it's probably something that a lot of people are talking about this week because of the fact that Google have offered a $10 million prize fund for ideas that will change the world as part of their 10th birthday celebrations, right?
Are you aware of Google?
Yeah, but are they giving you $10 million if you just come up with a good idea?
No.
I imagine that they are putting $10 million into a big prize pool in order to back the development of any winning ideas.
Got it.
Dragon's Den style.
Exactly.
So ideas for making the world a better place, I went, I mean it's a fun thing to do, right?
This is something that newspapers and magazines do from time to time just to amuse themselves.
It's like doing top 100 best album lists.
Yeah, just stuff you want to chip away at, make it improve life a little bit.
I mean Dave Gorman of course has honed the notion into a brilliant show, Genius, on Radio 4.
Have you ever listened to that?
No.
Great program and it's being made into a TV series as well I think.
Later this year that's going to come out.
And he more or less does the same sort of thing, asks people for ideas that they think are genius and they come up with things like, some guy thought about perforated bread.
He was fed up with the fact that slicing bread is such an inexact thing, so he was saying if bread had regular perforations, you could rip it off to the desired thickness.
That's a great idea.
It's a great program, you should check it out if you haven't heard it before.
You can buy a CD of it, I think.
Anyway, that's Dave Gorman.
But here are just a couple that we've got so far.
Candice says, run an extensive programme to teach dogs and cats how to talk, drive, shop and take holidays.
Is that good though?
How would that make the world an actually better place?
That would just overcrowd the market, wouldn't it?
Yeah, I suppose so.
I've always thought squirrels were getting a little bit too cocky these days, and that they could be put to use.
They look like they want a job now.
They're so familiar with people in parks.
They've got no fear, have they?
No fear.
They come right up to you.
They almost say, got any nuts?
You go, no.
It's very much like that.
I think you could do something with squirrels, that's for sure.
Well, you should maybe deprogram them is what the squirrels need.
I think they need to rejoin the fearful animal community.
I wish they would because I don't like the cocky, cocky squirrel.
No one likes a cocky squirrel.
Here's another idea from George from Petersfield.
Perhaps once a week everyone should go and have a nice cup of tea or a sherry with an old person.
It would cheer the old folk up and thus youngsters could hear some good war stories.
You know that's actually brilliant.
That is a good idea.
That's a brilliant idea.
I think it would make everyone a bit more cheerful, says George.
Old people are good fun, he adds at the end.
I don't think you can argue with any of that, George.
That is a good idea.
I've got one that's a bit like that from James Heal.
It's sort of about being told stories.
It's James suggesting that the news is read by Stephen Fry or somebody with a very nice, comforting, warm and friendly voice.
I met this very famous man called Oliver Postgate, who came up with The Clangers and Noggin the Nog and all these kind of things.
Ivor the Engine.
Ivor the Engine, Bagpuss.
His voice, if he were to read the news, it would make the world feel better.
Here's an idea from the worryingly named Mark Killing.
Use more wave machines.
Get everyone to jump up and down in the sea and make waves.
It makes sense, he puts in capitals.
But that's a couple of ideas, though.
I mean, use more wave machines is one thing, but then he's advocating people just jumping up and down in the sea and making waves.
But isn't there a dance floor in a club in Holland where the more the people dance on the floor, the more electricity gets generated?
No.
Yeah, absolutely.
Someone was telling me about this yesterday, that a lot of the electricity and the lights under the floor are generated by how much pressure people are putting on the floor with their feet.
And of course, if they reach maximum, you know, velocity.
The place explodes.
Goes green.
It goes green.
Yeah.
Green lights.
Green lights.
That's a good idea.
It's true, yeah.
And if you get a really duff DJ, there's just a power cut.
Yeah, it just goes, ooh.
Everyone has to go home.
Candles are passed around.
That's a genius idea.
I feel like I, you know, at this stage of my life, I feel like I want to pick a fight with Oasis.
Do you know what I mean?
I just want to pick a fight, because I think they've got to a certain point now where they're getting a bit doddery.
But that happened last week.
Somebody jumped on stage, picked a fight, and he got beaten up by them.
Not a physical fight.
I still feel that they could handle themselves a little bit.
I reckon they'd take you down, Buxton.
I think they probably would, yeah.
But I know what you mean about...
I tell you another thing I'm worried about right is my hair at the moment because I shaved off my beard the other day.
You look like a baby face Buxton today.
Yeah and it's when you've got a beard you can let your hair get a little more shaggy right because you just think well I'm a shaggy man now I'm like a monkey man.
It doesn't matter, I'm just gonna let all my hairs hang out and I won't go to the barber and nothing really matters anymore.
You know, your personal appearance you don't have to worry about.
That's one of the nice things about having a beard is you just don't have to worry.
You don't have to look at your stupid face in the mirror every morning and shave and all that kind of stuff.
Just roll out of bed, go through some garbage cans.
See, I've always wanted to have a beard.
I was like, my dad has a brilliant beard, like proper Father Christmas style.
And I can only grow hair in a circle around my mouth.
Ooh, that's not very nice.
It's rubbish.
It's rubbish.
It's like a really crappy goatee.
Sure, that's right.
I swear, look at my face.
I've never had to shave my cheeks.
Right, right.
And it just grows around the mouth in a sort of like bizarre crop circle.
Right.
It's awful.
It looks like I've got a sort of dark grey rash.
Like a kind of coffee Yeah, like I've said, you know when you suck a glass to your face and it leaves a ring It's a bit like that with a dirty glass and I really especially being a film director You need a beard for people to take you seriously You need a beard so you can scratch it and go.
I think we should do that again.
Maybe a little quicker You know all the greats beards, you know, you can draw one on
I could get the makeup department to slap a bit of fur on.
People would respect that, your crew would respect that, because they would think, he's mental.
He must be really creative, he's painted a beard on his own face.
He must be a genius, he must be a genius.
You know, you should definitely, someone should do that.
I bet there's some director out there now.
Like a kind of Fred Flintstone, just a sort of grey area.
Yeah, or just with a black marker.
Oh, actual little lines.
No, just like a solid thing, just draw it on.
You could do it with gaffer tape if you don't want to commit to the actual marker.
I think it's a very good idea.
Anyway, I've shaved my beard off.
I don't know why, I just woke up one morning and thought, you know, I can't hide all my life behind this beard.
I've got to see what my stupid face looks like again.
So there it was, but then unfortunately the whole back of my head, my hair, is now all long and I've got kind of a shaggy 80s Lady Diana style hairstyle going on now.
Which needs a bit of a trim, right?
I like it.
But I'm at that stage, because everyone's got short hair, right?
You watch Prison Break, every single character in that show has got like a buzz cut.
You're talking about a prison show though?
Yeah, I know, but... You're just watching... don't watch prison shows!
Well, that is one way of approaching the problem.
Either they've got very short hair or long ponytails.
You need to branch out.
The baddies have ponytails.
This is the thing.
The baddies have ponytails.
People with long hair are either... Are evil.
They're evil.
They're creeps or they're sort of like fashion terrorists like you've got in Die Hard, you know?
All the German guys with their suits and their long hair and they're going to blobs and I can tell them it's ours.
They're creeps, but you could go big Lebowski style where it's just it's just mellow hair.
He's got he's got the beard He's got the beard you can't you can't you know, otherwise it's too creepy and I need I need to go and get it but the problem is that I'm I've reached the stage now where
My face is letting me down all over the area.
It's just a kind of pudding-y lump.
And I can't really get away with a lot of hair.
Like I couldn't get away with the prison break buzz cut, for example.
There's no question.
Why not?
Because it would look insane.
I would just look like a great big suet pudding.
No, you wouldn't.
You could do a buzz cut.
Just do it.
It grows back anyway.
I know.
Do it for next show.
Get it on the webcam.
People can text in if they like your face.
But then I've got to live with it for six months.
Every morning I've got to wake up and go... No, it's three months.
The way you grow hair is ridiculous.
Your beard grows overnight.
Yeah.
Literally, you can see it growing now.
You can hear it if you listen very carefully.
You can hear the creak.
Adam's face growing.
We've been asking you for your ideas, just sort of good ideas, I suppose, things that would make the world a better place in some way.
And before we read out a couple more of your ideas, here's a few that I found on the BBC's website.
This was about 2003 they did something where they were asking people for ideas to improve the world, and this was one from Chris Coombs in the UK.
Have you ever been to the UK, Garth?
I've heard it's great.
It's not, it's rubbish.
Chris Coombs says, time-specific marriages.
You agree on a time period after which it comes up for renewal.
You're both optioned to each other, so you can't negotiate with new potential partners until you're free of the contract.
I mean it's not exactly romantic is it?
It's not really going into it.
But it's practical.
So you could buy like a little chunk, a little marriage chunk, you know what I mean?
So depending on how much you like the person.
That falls apart man, because the minute you start you're aware of an end approaching.
You know what it's useful for is people who've been married once before And got divorced and they still want to get married because some people love getting married You know you just get a buzz sort of caffeine buzz out of the marriage bit and it trails off you go like oh How many times you be mad been married four times you think what's your problem?
Lunatic
You're not getting the message.
You're not making notes.
Where I've gone wrong in previous marriages.
Oh, I've lost the notes again.
Have you got any ideas there from our listeners, Scott?
Rooney from Wood Green.
He's written in saying, it's not a world saving thing, but he was saying houses should have central locking like cars.
This would make it easier to get in and also improve security as people wouldn't have to fumble around for keys at night.
Yeah it's not practical though is it?
I mean if you're a big rich person then you can have that and you know you press a button and all kinds of portcullises would come down and things would go dream and rock and make that noise.
Welcome owner of house.
That's what I'd have.
Welcome back Brad Pitt.
Oh, hello, Brad.
You look well.
Look at your new children.
They are beautiful.
The house is a lot for you now.
Angelina has cooked your tea.
Your new film was good.
It did really well.
Even if it did badly.
Thanks for your idea though, Rooney.
That's a very good idea, The Roon Meister.
Do you mind if I call you The Roon Meister?
The Roonatron, as I like to call him.
The Roonalator.
Here is one more very good idea, and this one is from... Big shout to me grandma!
from Ilfracombe and he says that he actually submitted this idea to Dave Gorman's show Genius and they liked it enough to feature it but the only problem was that he says I had to schlep up to London to pitch the idea in person on the show and I couldn't be bothered
Wow!
It's only a four-hour drive, isn't it?
He couldn't be bothered.
Get the train from Barnstable, you'll be there in a jiffy.
He weighed it up.
Anyway, we are the beneficiaries of Lewis's incredible laziness.
He sent us the idea.
He says, sandwich a layer of liquid crystals in the middle of a windscreen, a car windscreen that is, and wire this to the burglar alarm so that a stolen car displays the word stolen in black letters that fill the screen.
This not only makes the car hard to drive, it virtually guarantees that every policeman will flag you down.
The advantage of this over an audible alarm is that it doesn't require as much or any energy to maintain, so it won't run down your battery and therefore it doesn't need time out after a minute or so.
Also, it won't annoy your neighbours if it goes off accidentally in the middle of the night.
In fact, the only person it inconveniences is the thief.
It's genuinely genius.
That is a good... I mean, what are the disadvantages of that is that you would accidentally set it off yourself.
Oh, that'd be embarrassing.
And then you'd feel like you can't go to the shops because people think you've stolen it.
Right, and the cops would be flagging you down, you'd have to... No, look, I guess you'd just carry around your licences.
Yes, you'd just have to deal with it.
How do you deal with a little cracked window or something like that?
But that is a brilliant idea.
Lewis, there you go.
Lewis Villazon.
You want to get out of Ilfacombe and get that down to someone in London who's got a big chequebook.
Exactly, like Dave Corman.
Oh, there you go.
I mean, you know, my mum enjoyed it, but she didn't like the music.
But then there wasn't any music in that podcast.
So in a way, it's the perfect show if you're my mum.
Yeah, she's happy.
Yeah.
Did you enjoy yourself, Garth?
I loved it.
And it's my last week next week, which will be a bit sad for me.
And you have to do the job that Joe usually does, which is man the computers.
I mean, you had help from Claire here at Six Music, but you get to sometimes read the abusive comments as well as the nice ones.
There's not as much abuse as I thought we would get.
Really?
Yeah, it's actually quite positive, a lot of it.
That's nice.
A little bit of positive stuff.
Yeah, it's good.
Well, thank you, listeners, for listening.
Hope you enjoyed it.
Garth and I will be back next week.
Joe's still in LA.
That'll be your last week covering for Joe, though.
That's it.
It'll be all over.
Back to Big Joe.
Yeah, we'll be doing our Reckoner remixes.
But right now, here is the song that I completed for last week's Song Wars, my credit card song.
Actually, in my opinion, this is the one that should have won.
You should have entered this.
So it's good that you've put this on the podcast now for people to really listen to and enjoy.
Well, I hope you enjoy this, listeners.
Full of useful tips for surviving the crunch.
Thanks very much, Garth.
Thank you for having me.
And thanks, listeners.
Love you.
Bye.
Bye.
Democratic capitalism is the best system ever devised.
The global economy's falling to bits Who is to blame?
Riddle me this We're on the verge of the flipping abyss Except this abyss hasn't got little nice aliens at the bottom Don't waste your time trying to figure out who done the credit crunch It was a load of greedy bankers having a fiddle over lunch The main thing now is not to panic but to get yourself prepared The apocalypse is coming but there's no need to be scared
Prime Minister Gordon Brown says to crown It's easy to deal with it, just like the loft And remember to turn out the lights Oh God, the crunch It's already crunching down upon your town It's time to be sensible, so change your ways You are going to die
And choose your one and nick it Go back inside your nose again And use your Wilson picket I've got other suggestions, not a bad start Waste your save And have a lot of fun with yourself Don't be depressed in this difficult time Follow these rules, you will be fine Just pretend it is the second world war So follow the fashion And get ready to ration Don't switch your TV on Because it costs a lot
Don't do nothing!
It's best for your bank accounts!
We're stuffed!
We're stuffed!
Now even Pafka Day says no way am I flying my private jet!
And that's as bad as things could possibly get!
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much!
Now you're prepared for the crunch!